Heartbreak changes more than just your relationship status – it often reveals the true nature of the people around you. While some friends will stand steadfastly by your side, offering support, comfort, and strength, others will surprise you by pulling away, spreading rumours, or choosing sides without ever hearing your story.
This harsh reality hit me hard during one of the most painful periods of my life. It wasnโt just the heartbreak that hurt – it was losing friends I thought would have my back.
๐ช๐ต๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ณ๐ ๐๐ณ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐๐ฏ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ
When emotions are high, people often take sides based on the first version of a story they hear. Itโs human nature, but itโs also deeply flawed. Whatโs disheartening is that some friends wonโt even pause to ask for your side of the story. Instead, they jump to conclusions, armed with unverified rumours, and often end up wielding their judgment like a sword. Iโve been there and I also wrote a book about it.
I remember the sting of betrayal from people I respected- people I thought would be wise and understanding. Instead, they chose to believe rumours without ever reaching out to me for the truth. Behind closed doors, they insulted and criticised me, painting me as the villain in an attempt to tarnish my reputation. These were the same people who prided themselves on being advocates of justice, peace, and fairness. Ironically, if the tables had turned, they likely wouldnโt have extended the same courtesy they denied me.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฒ๐๐๐ผ๐ป ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฑ
None of those “advocates of truth and fairness” ever came to me and asked the simple question: โWhat really happened?โAnd honestly, that silence spoke volumes.
Hereโs what Iโve come to realise: heartbreak is a filter. It separates those who are truly in your corner from those who are just along for the ride. And while itโs painful to lose friends, itโs also liberating to see whoโs really worth your time and energy.
If youโre in a similar situation, let me share some advice:
- Guard your vulnerability. Not everyone who asks how youโre doing genuinely cares. Some people are just looking for gossip material.
- Be discerning. Share your pain with those who have proven themselves trustworthy, and for everyone else, a simple โIt is well; God is faithfulโ will suffice.
๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ช๐ถ๐๐ต ๐๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฟ-๐ช๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐
Itโs frustrating when people you thought had your back turn their swords on you. But hereโs the truth: they canโt make you feel terrible unless you let them. Your experiences, no matter how painful, are yours to process, heal from, and grow through. Donโt give anyone the power to define how you feel about yourself.
Anyone who wants content for their next gossip session can record videos on the streets. Your life isnโt their entertainment.
Instead, focus on the priceless lessons these moments offer. Heartbreak teaches resilience, clarity, and the importance of healthy boundaries. The people who disappoint you teach you who not to trust, while the ones who stand by you become treasures in your life.
๐๐ฒ๐โ๐ ๐ง๐ฎ๐น๐ธ
Remember this: heartbreak doesnโt define you. It refines you. Youโll be fine – stronger, wiser, and more discerning. Life moves on, and so will you.
Have you ever experienced heartbreak and found out who your real friends are? Maybe youโve been on the receiving end of unfair judgment or gossip. Or perhaps youโve heard different versions of a breakup story and found yourself wondering who to believe.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Share your story in the comments below.
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THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SUBMISSION. INDEED, WHEN RELATIONSHIP BREAK UP HAPPENS, PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO TAKE WHATEVER SIDE THEY WANT.
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Truly an inspiring piece Sir, there always comes a time when even friends betray but it’s always left to us not to allow their actions determine how we feel afterwards or what becomes of us in the long run
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