Heartbreak changes more than just your relationship status – it often reveals the true nature of the people around you. While some friends will stand steadfastly by your side, offering support, comfort, and strength, others will surprise you by pulling away, spreading rumours, or choosing sides without ever hearing your story.
This harsh reality hit me hard during one of the most painful periods of my life. It wasn’t just the heartbreak that hurt – it was losing friends I thought would have my back.
𝗪𝗵𝘆 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀 𝗗𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘁 𝗔𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸
When emotions are high, people often take sides based on the first version of a story they hear. It’s human nature, but it’s also deeply flawed. What’s disheartening is that some friends won’t even pause to ask for your side of the story. Instead, they jump to conclusions, armed with unverified rumours, and often end up wielding their judgment like a sword. I’ve been there and I also wrote a book about it.
I remember the sting of betrayal from people I respected- people I thought would be wise and understanding. Instead, they chose to believe rumours without ever reaching out to me for the truth. Behind closed doors, they insulted and criticised me, painting me as the villain in an attempt to tarnish my reputation. These were the same people who prided themselves on being advocates of justice, peace, and fairness. Ironically, if the tables had turned, they likely wouldn’t have extended the same courtesy they denied me.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝗜 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱
None of those “advocates of truth and fairness” ever came to me and asked the simple question: “What really happened?”And honestly, that silence spoke volumes.
Here’s what I’ve come to realise: heartbreak is a filter. It separates those who are truly in your corner from those who are just along for the ride. And while it’s painful to lose friends, it’s also liberating to see who’s really worth your time and energy.
If you’re in a similar situation, let me share some advice:
- Guard your vulnerability. Not everyone who asks how you’re doing genuinely cares. Some people are just looking for gossip material.
- Be discerning. Share your pain with those who have proven themselves trustworthy, and for everyone else, a simple “It is well; God is faithful” will suffice.
𝗗𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗪𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗙𝗮𝗶𝗿-𝗪𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱𝘀
It’s frustrating when people you thought had your back turn their swords on you. But here’s the truth: they can’t make you feel terrible unless you let them. Your experiences, no matter how painful, are yours to process, heal from, and grow through. Don’t give anyone the power to define how you feel about yourself.
Anyone who wants content for their next gossip session can record videos on the streets. Your life isn’t their entertainment.
Instead, focus on the priceless lessons these moments offer. Heartbreak teaches resilience, clarity, and the importance of healthy boundaries. The people who disappoint you teach you who not to trust, while the ones who stand by you become treasures in your life.
𝗟𝗲𝘁’𝘀 𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸
Remember this: heartbreak doesn’t define you. It refines you. You’ll be fine – stronger, wiser, and more discerning. Life moves on, and so will you.
Have you ever experienced heartbreak and found out who your real friends are? Maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of unfair judgment or gossip. Or perhaps you’ve heard different versions of a breakup story and found yourself wondering who to believe.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Share your story in the comments below.
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THIS IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SUBMISSION. INDEED, WHEN RELATIONSHIP BREAK UP HAPPENS, PEOPLE ARE QUICK TO TAKE WHATEVER SIDE THEY WANT.
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Truly an inspiring piece Sir, there always comes a time when even friends betray but it’s always left to us not to allow their actions determine how we feel afterwards or what becomes of us in the long run
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